Monday, August 10, 2015

T.Notes #9: This post is not available

So apparently there's a mystery guy in the office who provides "solicited" oral favours to the ladies. The terms of engagement are such that the two persons involved cannot discuss details ever. All she said was that it starts off with a blank office email, agreed via sms and concluded on a random friday night with very little words spoken, only just the business. And he's apparently really really good.

Oh, and this is one of those posts that may be sensibly deleted in a few hours.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

T.Notes #8: Somewhere in the middle

When i was younger, i'd wait till everyone has retired to bed, so that I can creep back into the living room to enjoy the solitude of night - doing nothing except listening to soothing music and daydreaming away. I just realized today that not much has changed in that regard - except that it's harder to stay up late without the throbbing consequences to my mornings. However, on such quiet nights as these, I have found that there is great benefit to idle daydreaming along the corridors of graceful providence. I have this one giant notebook that has travelled with me across many journeys. I have scribbled countless late night dreams which i have woken up to on countless mornings to chase and pray hard after. But as with all of us, flipping through some of those pages feels like walking through a boulevard of broken dreams. I stopped asking silly questions like 'why me' sometime last year when i painfully realised that though i am privileged to view the world through my own singular perspective, it really does not revolve around me. So why not me? And neither does faith make me immune from any of the heartaches that we will all walk through at some point - it is how the cookie crumbles - hardly any one of us makes it through unscathed in some way. This may seem like an obviousness but you know how some truths become painfully real to you such that it seems like no one else had ever realized it. So i have quietly embraced every page of that notepad, soaring and painful hopes none withstanding. And like tonight, i do wince at some hopes that still seem so very far off and who knows, may never come to pass...#Quiet....But i also enthusiastically celebrate the priviledges in the dreams that i have stepped into and now breathe in every morning. I realised a transitioning in my faith recently which some may disagree with but which suits me just fine. It is this....I no longer position an argument for the existence of God in all of these madness. I find that instead, i am cluchting hard to one thin desperate and worn out shroud of what is left of my own faith, within which i am quietly hoping hard...for there to be a God...somewhere that'll make it all worth the while somehow and sometime. I love the audacity in the sensible truth that if Christ is not raised, then indeed, vain also is our preaching, and vain also your faith.

I am dreaming again tonight, being fully aware that not all dreams come true. But that's fine, because some do. And if the stars don't shine on this one, I'll dream yet another for tomorrow.

P.S......My comment responses may be slow but i do honestly collect every one and allow them lap gently against the lazy lakes of my meandering thoughts.

Have a good night folks....And if you found solidarity in any of my implied contexts, hang in there :)

T.Notes.....Still here.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

T.Notes #7: About obsessions

I am an obsessive person - There i said it!
I pick something, anything and make it the object of my urgent sacriligious obsession.

I know when i am slowly slipping into that state, but i let it happen everytime.
And i won't let up until i have conquered it, and then when i do,  I get bored and move on.

It's like this ridiculous itch to constantly have a source of entertainment.
And i know it sounds horrendous, but I'll do it again tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.

The worst situation is when two obsessive people collide into each other's space.
So...There...now you know!

What are you obsessive about?

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

T.Notes #6: Riddle me....

What gives you ten minutes of utter pleasure,

followed by a whole day of self condescending guilt trip,

and then a potential lifetime of regret,

Yet you'd keep coming back for more.

Hint: It could begin at the click of a mouse.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

T.Notes #5: Office politicking

There's this guy in the office- We don't get along at all, mostly because we're in the running for the same position.

I understand his myopic point of view. I'm an out-of-towner (OOT) and i skipped up the ladders too quickly. But myopic because the average professional OOT has slaved it out for a few years under the sub-saharan, so as far as I'm concerned I've paid my dues and I'm dead set on not wasting time.

Running late for work so I'll have to continue this some other time....

But my point is, I'm wondering if i ought to calm down and give in to the expected office politicking to make him happy. My stand point has been entirely unapologetic that i met him in the company and now stand on his turf. Besides, that Nigerian blood entirely resists any form of subserviency or boot kissing.

Things got a little heated last week...he cascaded a certain unprofessionally rude email about my work to management. I responded promptly and shut him down in the same email sharply. It got nasty and Senior Management had to intervene to diffuse the situation....

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

T.Notes #4: Street Love

There is often that one thing, or thought or person or experience, that makes your heart skip a beat. The type that when you indulge a simple thought of it, you literally really feel your heart pause for a second and then forces you to feel alive after it resumes a steady beat.

I once argued with a friend that one way of jerking yourself away from that one desire is to imagine the full extreme of that depravity till you feel the guilty warmth of satisfaction wash over you.

I love how you often get good quality 'street jazz music' on a random train ride. I love when you hand your blog over to your mind and you become the audience of your own meandering thoughts. Go on....

#ThingsILoveAboutLife (As inspired by Blogoratti)

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S6

Monday, May 25, 2015

T.Notes #3: Holiday? Yes please.

Last week we were discussing the start of another fast project with impossible timelines. I nodded ever so enthusiastically, then returned to my desk and booked away a string of long overdue holidays.  First stop Italy, then beautiful Paris. And i'm not even going to feel guilty about it. If GEJ burns the economy to the ground, the hustle will still continue another day for those who survive the #petrocalypse.

Growing up, our folks used to say 'ise o kin pa yan?' I.e Hard work ain't never killed nobody. That 'ish don't apply anymore. Stress, high blood pressure, heart attacks....are no respecter of age anymore. Work hard, be on top of your game, yes please,  but take time to breathe, in however capacity you can manage to. Light is sweet and it pleases the eyes to see the sun.