Saturday, April 30, 2016

T.Notes #16: About missing you....

The thing about death is that stark reality that the person is...gone.
You will not hear her voice again,
You will search for his face in the crowd and will never find it.
There's just that emptiness, a nothingness in the space that your departed used to occupy.
You want to grief for the rest of eternity,
but you know that will not do justice to a person who fully embraced life and laughter.

So this is me alternating all over places of very brief laughter and a constantly gnawing ache,
desperately searching for answers that will never come.
I have set out and understood a lot about life,
But this one, stumps me completely.
They say time heals, but God forbid that i forget all that you are.
So this here, is an imperfect note.....
That one person who's made me all the man that i am today.

Nothing comes from nothing,
Nothing ever could
For here you are, standing there, loving me
Whether or not you should
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good.....Something good.

About missing you......

Sunday, April 3, 2016

T.Notes #15: About the neighbours....

My night was cut short by 4am because my neighbour was busy.

It wasn't so much her activities but the intensity of the whole thing. It was loud and rough and she was screaming and cursing amidst the intermittent palms on cheek insolence.

She is such a decent professional girl during the day but the things she was saying was 100% nasty. Yes everybody appreciates good feedback but, words like...*&^$#..are just a little bit OTT.

The problem now is this morning,  I am quietly trying to enjoy a Sunday morning breakfast but I can still hear all those cursewords ringing loud in my head. And tommorow morning we will meet briefly in the garage spaces on the way to work and i'm not sure if to remind her that the walls are really thin especially at night.....or to give her a thumbs up for her quality feedback.

Blog round and comments in a bit. Trust you guys are all good...Let's catchup, it's been a minute.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

T.Notes #14: Things that make you scream

The car is stuck in the garage. It's funny how that could be coded-talk representing any other matter....but no, the car is really stuck in the garage.

The car is stuck in the garage on a sunday night. The gates will not open and it won't close either.  Which means monday morning may not be easy. I will not be able to get to work. Instead I'll spend the morning calling up garage repair people, who will turn up with expensive equipments and cheerfully present a heart wrenching invoice at the end of the whole thing.

I want to scream. I want to call everyone and moan about how the car is stuck in the garage and it's driving me crazy. About how I wasted a precious two hours breaking my back trying to force the thing open....and...and everything is expensive enough in this place without having to think of paying to get a car out of a garage! A garage is supposed to be simple for heaven's sake! Build normal garage, noooo! They have to make everything fancy so that you have no clue what to do when it gets broken.

I have a very very unfriendly bill to sort out this month, and now the car is stuck in the garage. The car is stuck in the garage and i want to scream!

#WhyEvils #FMLs

Friday, December 4, 2015

T.Notes #13: What she said...(Ghanaian love)

Wondering how come nobody told me about the magic in Gold coast waters...
About how our west african sisters got soul in their lips and hips...
even though I don't even know half of what she's said!

This here is my virgin discovery of ghanaian soul music.
And how they remind me of that good quality African music, funked up like Omawumi and then mixed up with some Seyi Shay...

I only heard of Becca after that one song with M.I Abaga...
But that was all i knew, until i stumbled on Efya, and Mzvee and....that's it..i'm packing off to Ghana, no jokes!

Dentaa, i cannot believe you!

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

T.Notes #12: Milestones for the broken hearted

Who are we deceiving, these are not good times.

There’s a certain release that comes from taking a literal pause to acknowledge your pain.
I have previously just carried on as normal, with the occasional wince.
But some day, it all comes crashing down as if reality is grabbing your neck and forcing you to acknowledge that life intends to break you.

I understood for a moment why it's called a broken heart
That jarring feeling of walking through the pages of your life and realizing that the clatter beneath every step are the million pieces of your shattered heart,
Being reduced to smitterings with every day of unmet expectations.

Sometimes the ironic and cliche is the truth - even more so for the cynic at heart,
The boys that insist to the world that they have become men,
And so God forbid that stray tear that dare trickle down the stubble of your manly beard.

I have read that hope deferred makes the heart sick - i think sick is a gross understatement of the truth.
I have heard of people who shake clinched hateful, yet faithful fists up to the heavens, i don't judge them.

Who are we deceiving, these are not good times.
And the biggest challenge is carrying on as if everything were alright.
Afteral, it only just life.

How do you deal with "life"?

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

T.Notes #11: Boys II Men

I haven't written in a while. Blog scribbles do not count....

I'm often awake till early mornings. Many times with YouTube or radio playing in the background. And since google has become some sort of mood reader, YouTube recommended tonight that i listen to some good ole Boys II Men classics. Ofcourse i obliged and journeyed back to those fantastic 90's. Allowing the playlist to skip along from One sweet Day, to Water runs dry, Seasons of Loneliness, End of the road...Fine times those days were! Memory is truly a gift, and music is a wonder. Each song easily flung open rusty gates to old memories and silly childish emotions from way back. Teenage crushes, first kisses, big afros and baggy jeans all wrapped up in the dawning of hip hop and extremely emotive R&B music.

Talking about random memories.....The Fugees - Killing me softly, (oh my days!) was a hit at abouts my JSS3. I remember that we used to have these 'class parties' towards the end of each school term, and it was fierce competition for which class threw the best party. The key formular ofcourse being your music and the girls in attendance. Lamide was the rave of the time in JSS3. Tall, slim, perfect ebony Lamide was the first to hit the puberty mark, and so transformed into a perky breasted, short skirted goddess to the awe testosterone drunk teenage boys.

Lamide was so amazing, that it was considered a privilege to spend all of your "tuck-shop" money on her at lunch time, then go hungry, in return for a very short-lived glory of walking hand-in-hand with her during recess. That hand would literally be sacred until you get back to the privacy of your room and a jar of vaseline.....But anyways, that particular class party was banging. Dr Dre & Snoop Dog (Next episode), was all up in the mix, until suddenly the music stopped....and then, The Fugees crooning "Killing me softly", took over the blaring speakers in perfect cue to Lamide's ever sensational entrance - with her groupie entourage in tow.

Probably my only significant achievement of my secondary school days, equal in no proportion to Moses' parting of the red sea, as an ocean of salivating teenage boys literaly gave way to allow Lamide saunter in and march right up to yours truly chilling coyly in one corner. Smart guy that i was, i had invested a significant amount of lunch money, in return for a first dance. And boy did she know how to slow dance that song....

Life was easier growing up. And yes, it's probably just me gone tone-deaf but sometimes i do think the music was better those days with fine lyrics that had a certain level of depth - for love or cannabis induced. Things were simpler in a comfortable sort of way too. The internet didn't come round until much later, so mischief was limited to the typical teenage rowdiness.  Knowledge and exposure come with it's vices. Somehow, i think we were better off with the little that we knew.  The sort of mischief kids get up to these days.....But anyways, it is foolish to lay idle pondering about why the old days are better than it is not wise to wonder about such mattersI think the challenge for today is intentionally creating even better memories of today, for tomorrow. the challenge.....

But sleep calls, and there really is no point to this post anyways. Though I do wonder what ever happened to that Lamide girl....

Night folks!

Friday, September 18, 2015

T.Notes #10: F*&#ing Karma

I used to think this happens only in rubbish Nollywood movies....
But the guy i used to look down on as the outcast kid is heading up the panel of Senior Execs in the interview I'm just about to walk into.
Karma must be having a proper laugh at my expense right now.