Sunday, July 20, 2014

Blog becomes him....

If you could do it all over again
Would you have hit that 'create blog' icon?
I don't think so.....

And somehow I wonder if that seeming tiny decision would have any impact on the person I could have been today.

Having lived all over these pages,
Cheaply served off dreams, grieves and expectations all over here...

Thing is, if you serve off the most of you,
And save some of you behind a mask,
How much insincere does that really make you?

It's easy for lines to become blurred,
For best intentions to get complicated
For pages to become people.

If I had the benefit of hindsight
Of how someday a random blog could somehow become you...

I'd have walked away from that cursor five years ago.
Problem is, then I wouldn't have walked side by side with you.


Sunday, June 29, 2014

14 for 14: About friends who become strangers…and a crazy Ghanaian blogger.

If Scarlet were to read this note, I bet she’d think this song is about her….I’d prefer to think that this note is more postively about Dentaa, one crazy Ghanaian blogger.

Dentaa spoke sometime about a certain someone who slowly fizzled from being a friend, into an acquaintance then disappeared altogether into a total stranger….and at the end of the day, she reckoned, that was just fine.

I’m not sure I ever really understood how friends degenerate into total strangers, and much less, how someone just disappears. I guess you never think about it when you are the guilty party that has intentionally broken the bonds of relationship. After all, we have candid reasons for those instances.

Like how it is ok to fall out with friends from youth because life happens as we grow up and go our separate ways. If I bumped into a childhood friend on a frizzy Wednesday afternoon, we’d have a cheerful moment of ‘Ooh,...look at you!...Wow, what’s been going on?!...We should catch up properly sometime..’, etc….then we’d go our separate ways with fond memories of childish pranks of peeping up girl’s skirts together….and that would be the end of that…a cozy smile to end a busy Wednesday…and like Dentaa said, that would be just fine.

But it’s different when we grow up and fall out with someone. Because the friends we make are more intentional, and with supposed benefit of hindsight. Your life has become your bubble, and you are intentional about the kinds of persons you want to include into your precious habitat. Someone like Scarlet….

You know how they say friends can become strangers just as easily as strangers can become friends. I agreed to meet up with Scarlet tomorrow, with vague plans of catching up and giving another purposeful effort to mend the fragmented pieces of what used to be a reasonably golden friendship. But thinking about the situation with Scarlet and thinking about Dentaa’s wise words, I sent a brief message today cancelling the lunch plan, with a vague excuse of work pressures.

I got a letter at work. I still struggle to understand how I’m now supposed to act at this new level. I go into a meeting and people expect me to have a valid opinion. They ask a question and turn to me for an opinion that will drive the business forward…decisions that inform business strategy for a company on the LSE. Problem is after these meetings, I have often looked into the mirror, and all I see is the novice child from yesterday playing grown-up. Except that we are no longer kids.

So when Scarlet asked us to meet up and catch up...It felt like kids playing commitment hide & go-seek. But that’s just the thing….as we grow up, you tend to need only people that are reliable in your sphere. You stop having time to chase anybody to be a part of the bubble that you’re doing your best to keep rolling along.

There are a few things that I do know about life. But I’ll admit that I am yet to understand how someone eats with you on a Sunday evening in your home, then refuses to acknowledge you on a Monday.. and how it boils your manly ego. I usually need to process events before I can react, so the problem lies when I cannot rationally explain a falling out. But Dentaa is right. This note should not even be validating or seeking to understanding Scarlet. And this note ought to be more Nigerian and forthrightly point such persons to the direction of the closest transformer. You know that relief when you curse someone out in Yoruba and finish off with a proper ‘waka, e no go better for you!’, and you feel awesome! Except that you can’t do that in a ‘civilised environment’. So you fake a smile, and do your best to keep calm and carry on whilst seething within.

So this note is not about Scarlet, instead this note is more positively about Dentaa,crazy Ghanaian blogger who reminds me to say it like it is. Afterall, irrespective of location or occupation, we are still afterall African to the teeth.

Intro: The 14-for-14 challange by Janyl. (Click here to familiarize yourelf with the '14 for 14 challenge'). I recently accepted this challenge to go on a quest searching for brand new blogs...with the bull-headed conviction that all creativty is not lost within the nigeria-blogsphere. And also desperate to prove that, contrary to recently popular opinion, not all of the new blog pages are uninteresting (to put it mildly). This is my sixth post into that journey. 

Friday, May 30, 2014

Falling in love with a blogger - The T.Notes' Blog Sniffer alerts.

#Late night musing alert.

A friend of mine reluctantly joined a religious dating website, and after a few weeks, she concluded that every user in the community was either a freak or a potential psychopath. She asked my opinion, from a blogger's perpective, and i quickly refuted her argument. I cited the numerous highly intelligent and useful contacts i have built up over blogging years, and presented a shiny case for social-media. I agreed that...yes indeed, a dating website is more likely to draw a certain category of colorful characters, so she would be better off switching into a less ambitious community - such as an online interest group or a blogging platform.

I preached about how within such less obtrusive groups, people are more real and less inhibited, so you get a better chance of navigating the inner depths of a person before  taking any step into the grimmy worlds of italian pasta, red wine and first date etiquettes. In other words, sift through the nutballs online to find the soul that appeals to you, before putting on a dinner dress. I told her it really just makes life a little easier, just as long as you're on the right online platform.

In retrospect, i realize i was talking a lot of bull&%$t. Not because i don't believe it is entirely impossible to fall in love with an online acquaintance, but because i briefly forgot the simple morale from the T.V show #CatFish, i.e, the fact everybody online either puts their best foot forward, or worse still, wears an entirely different bodysuit that belongs to someone else.

Take my blogger friend Musco for instance. Now i know personally that Musco is of the same generation as i am, and also as with the most charming Lara...that generation of blearly eyed wanderlusts, who are constantly searching to attain somethig shinier than the existence currently at hand. Given that they both share an uncommon lust for flight terminals, travel air-miles & foreign languages, i have always had a fleeting thought that Musco & Lara would hit it off easily....and what's to say that they didn't? Since the two were easily on my Google+ contacts, let's imagine hypothetically how easy it was to hook up a google hangout and leave the rest to fluid conversation and fate. So who says fairytales do not happen on shared common grounds of blogger templates.

That story might be the only one success story i have recently encountered of love across blinking cursor lines, or it might simply be a concoction of blurred truths and an over-active imagination - in other words, a #catfish, just like my friend concluded about many online interactions. Who's to tell, except either of the two people involved? And what's the point, you might ask? I think the point is how i have lately realized a certain naivety that i have held on to, which links to this challenge  i'd accepted - to go on a quest in search of brand new blogs.

I find that my bleary eyed quest is similar to the strong opinion i'd presented to my friend - to go ahead and fall in love with a blogger. Not out of uninformed naivity, but more sensibly searching to find a new blog that truthfully allows the real person behind the cursor to spill unfiltered into the pages - like an unsolicited random conversation with someone else on the other side of the pond. I'd said to her, go and fall in love, not with just another new ambitious blogger. But instead, the one at the other end of the cursor who is waiting to tell you how annoying his day was, right down to the dirty insignificant details of the chunk of cauliflower wedged in between his teeth, which he noticed only after that crucial office presentation was over. And about his older boss who discretly admitted that she thinks about him more often than is appropriate, and how he wasn't sure if to be flattered, flustered or upset at the potential grounds for sexual harrassment. Who knows where the roads of attraction may lead.

Now if this one kind of person existed for every other blogger with a penchant for emotional connection on a literal level. And if such online platforms were a finely blended playground of cunning linguists and honest merchants, then i wouldn't be struggling to find a good new blog to present as a monthly review. And more importantly, my friend would not have come back to me saying she had a look through my suggested online platforms, and all she found were a dry dribble of gossip pages and meaningless nonsense. Like a tired blogger ranting rubbish about online romance at 1am...

So, is it even possible to fall in love with a blogger then? Who knows, and who cares really. I am afterall properly hitched now, so thank you for not asking me ;)

Thursday, May 29, 2014


.... and so now that I am properly hitched.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Note to self

This life you're living....
that's your life.
Yes, your life.
The only one allocated to you.
This is it.
Newsflash uh?

So kick your legs in and make the best of it. All of your wanderlusting and daydreaming...
Just stop.
Seriously.  Just stop it.
Don't let your own life pass you by
In the midst of it all...

And don't forget to live in neat concentric circles
where at the Core lies you.
Love you first.
Followed by that inner circle of friends and family.
Choose wisely.
Every other interaction does not deserve a sleepless night.
So stop it.
Seriously, Just stop.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Who is afraid of Skinny Jeans and Bloggers known as #Kiah...and The 14 for 14 Challenge: The T.Notes' Blog Sniffer alerts

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  1. For the life of me, I will never understand the absurdity known as male skinny jeans. It's just not right. I went shopping over the weekend, and huffed and puffed in a tiny changing room, in a bit to test on a fresh pair of #skinnies. I fell over twice in the process, bruised my elbow, banged my knee-cap and concluded that the gods of fashion have truly gone mad. I remember my sister going through this same ordeal during every jeans affair. I could possibly justify the female's skinny jeans argument, since even I was quite impressed at the outcome of my own backside all neatly bubbled up and packaged up for the perfect #selfie. But i will never understand why a man should have to spend any more than five effortless seconds putting on a pair of jeans, only to realize that you cannot zip it all the way up without causing collateral damage to certain crucial body parts. I therefore put it to you, that this business of male skinny jeans is just wrong on every level. #BootCutForLife. #PowerToTheResistance.
  2. Kiah and I get along like Immigration Police and an illegal immigrant. Attempting to put a figure on the number of disagreements i have had with Kiah would be a fine exercise in futility. I have concluded that we might just be a little too like-minded and equally egoistic to peacebly exist the same air-space for five seconds without falling-out. Infact, this is what a typical T.Notes/Kiah Interraction looks like: Hey you!#abuse#abuse#Lol!#abuse#Lol!#Loooool!#abuse#Lol!!!#abuse#Rotfwl!!!#abuse#Ehennn, so what's up?#.
  3. I have chosen to review Kiah's blog (as my April review for the 14-for-14 challenge), since she has recently kicked off a new website. Hence, technically she counts as a newbie, despite being on here since 19-gogoro. I'll keep it short, since most people are familiar with the blogger known as Kiah, and would agree that she writes a reasonaly dang good story. Bear in mind that she remains my humbled protege, and Kiah's art remains guided by a certain more experienced writer & blogger.
  4. I would dare say that Kiah is a writer in the true sense of the word, by her ability to spin diverse stories quickly and effortlessly. I would often peruse every new blog entry on her page and wonder at how quickly a new story appears frequently, yet maintaining the same style that is characteristic of Kiah's scripts. So, if you do know Kiah, or are being newly acquainted by virtue of this quick note, stop by her new page here and drop a friendly hello, because in reality, Kiah is just a softie at heart.

Intro: The 14-for-14 challange by Janyl. (Click here to familiarize yourelf with the '14 for 14 challenge'). I recently accepted this challenge to go on a quest searching for brand new blogs...with the bull-headed conviction that all creativty is not lost within the nigeria-blogsphere. And also desperate to prove that, contrary to recently popular opinion, not all of the new blog pages are uninteresting (to put it mildly). This is my fifth post into that journey.

Monday, April 14, 2014

So that's how we started something...

I was lazily skimming through blogs today, instead of dutifully replying comments...
And I happened on some conversations and comments that are now five, six year old on some blogs...

For a second, the reality of how we have grown through these years dawned on me.
How some of us have unconsciously been a part of each other's journeys...

Five, six, seven years down the line...
From one post to the next, unintentionally wading along through life together...
Shared frustrations, excitements, pains...celebrations...

*The strength in short words, brief comments, epistled replies, the banter and the 'off cursors-check-ups...*
It's funny how life has happened...and still happens here in this unofficial and uncoordinated space, without anybody realizing...

For a second,  it dawned on me how maybe we started something here...

That whilst some moaned about 'good ole days gone',
We were creating our own generation of 'good times'.
This unintentional generation of 'now greying newbies'...
Conceived somewhere in between when moldy veterans dropped off,
and those who picked up cursors from those 2009'ish blogging years.

A right blend of that old time quirk, infused with that kick of youth..
Into fine personal-type blogging.

I like it.
I like that I'm a part of that new generation,  with a quickly blossoming history...
I like that I know a bunch of these folks by name, handle, and by the unpretentiousness in-between those five, six, seven years of shared existences.

I don't want to list names,  because I will obviously miss out on a few,
So yeah, if we ever shared any conversation or comment that is now five years old...
It's been real folks...
and i think it's worth being proud of.

I find it amusing when I visit a blog and find my comments and conversations from six years ago...
I doubt there is any such beauty in 'ghosting'.

This is a random and meaningless post... but yeah...I should be getting back to those comments...alas sleep beckons....