Monday, March 22, 2010

OMG, YOU DIDN’T!!!!

Here are the rules of this blog, kindly adhere STRICTLY to it:
If you’re beneath…21, kindly skip, DO NOT READ! I will not be held responsible for anybody’s action or misconduct attributable to his/her interaction with this entry!

If my friend T finds out that I’m blogging about her personal and recent experience, she will kill me!!!So, in some days time, this page might just cease to be.

Also, if you (like me) are unable to partake of conversations of sexual conduct without your mind running wild, also, kindly skip. Though, I will keep this to a pg13 level.

So, background is, I’ve got this trio of friends in my office (2guys and a girl). We like to imagine ourselves as…Nigerian type wall street executives (hahaha). Well, we’re young, the pay’s alright, we consults for diverse local and international clients, and we basically get to tell a lot of people that “they don’t know what they’re doing!” Further, we’re not yet married but as regards dating, love and sexuality, we do TRY to keep things…well, nice and clean. We sort of checkmate each other, which means many times we force the other to divulge behind closed doors information. This entry is about “T’s” confession as we drove home from work. T doesn’t yet know I have a blog page, but she’s very nosey- for that reason, this page might disappear once I sense she’s getting wind of my online activities!!

Ok ok, enough preamble, here’s the dirt, it was just so hilarious at telling, hope I’m able to do it justice at writing. The gist is always sweeter when described though. Last Friday, T’s church fellowship was going to hold a vigil. She was scheduled to lead a certain portion of it, which would involve some prayers and such. So after work, T went straight to her Fiancee’s (F) place- they were going for the fellowship together. Whilst at F’s place, another friend came around. We’ll call him P because he’s the president/pastor of the youth fellowship. So T, F and P were alone at home. P needed to do some work online so they were all together in F’s room. The setting is that, the P.C is on a table with a chair which backs the bed. BTW, F had just gotten the apartment, so the bed is pretty much just a large mattress on the tiled floor, making it much lower than the P.C table. Anyways, P was working on the table, backing F and P who were cozied on the bed just gisting.
Now, you know how it is when you’re chilling with you man/woman-there’s usually a tendency to get A little too relaxed. So according to T, she starts to INNOCENTLY play with F’s chest. INNOCENTLY lead to her fingers slipping into his shirt, finding his nipples and starting to finger them gently. All the while, Pastor has no idea what is going on behind him. F starts to whisper gruffly, “F, you need to stop, please”. F instead giggles and asks “Why?”. Naughtily/curiously, F reaches down to inquire why her macho man is suddenly getting cranky. And sure enough, something is brewing in the lower parts. She giggles and doesn’t stop the tease. Ofcourse, they both know that it’s important that P dare not get a wind of what is brewing behind him so they maintain a useless loud conversation, at times involving P who grunts occasionally in response without turning back.

F confessed that at this point, even she was starting to get frisky, she says there was something wild about the fact that someone was just a few steps away from them and hell would probably break loose if he turned around. So, get this, F leans forward, eases open T’s shirt and starts to do some soft porn nibbling on his nipple. At this point of the story, and I swear, we don’t make up these stories, all of us listening, went wild, screaming in the car- OMG, YOU DIDN’T!!!P was right there and things were getting hot behind him, talk about evil guts!!!It got worse. F was literally going crazy, yet he had to keep talking and engaging P who dared not look back, because he would have been staring straight into my friend’s T’s buttcheeks. We all know that, you cannot reeve up a man and leave him standing halfway or even dare to outdo him, so imagine how, damning the consequences, F rolls T over on the bed, scoops out her…jolly friends and starts to return the favour!!!Yes, he was eating out her nipples whilst she was staking out to let him know if P dared make a slight move!(I almost jammed the breaks at this point.) These people must be crazy; whatever happened to reverence for the man of God!!!I know it sounds like fiction, but like I said, we don’t make up stories in our discussions. We’re frank and honest to a brutal fault. Somehow it’s how we help each other along and keep each other accountable from our excessiveness.

According to her, T is somewhat of a macho man, he likes to exercise the fact that he is in control and so as regards sexuality, he likes to portend that nothing’ll happen / go far until he says so/allows it. In particular, he’s always maintained that he won’t “get up” until he commands himself to, and I gues somehow he’s so far proven himself capable of controlling his sexdrive-which I admit is bloody rare. So the trip for her in the whole scenario was that she’d initiated it and she was clearly getting the better part of him, and SHE WAS CALLING THE SHOTS. To prove it, she said, everynow and then, she’d reach down to feel, and was pleasantly amazed at how magnificently huge things were getting down there.
At this point, I will wrap things up before this turns into a romance novel. My friend T confessed that, she was “vibrating” like a washing machine on overdrive! Where she gets that word from, and how it applies, I have no idea.Lol. But anyways, P didn’t turn around and clearly, what things were leading to had better not be carried on in the room, so she looked T in the eye and says loudly, “Excuse me, need to take a pee” It was a cue for F to follow behind her pronto, but for some reason, he didn’t get it. She says, there’s a dark part of the house,so she went there and waited expecting T to show up, but like I said, he didn’t get it. He on the other hand was waiting impatiently in the bedroom. So, after waiting a while, she returns to the bedroom fuming. She raises an eyebrow at F, who shrugs a “what?”. She returns and sits with a huff, a distance from him.

P finally turns around (after things had simmered) looks at the time and says, he’d better be leaving now, so F escorts P off whilst T WAITS FOR HIM in the room. The rest of the story, I will leave untold. There was no sex, but….you get the drift.

They did show up at the vigil later in the night, but T refused to lead any prayers. She said the guilt of even being in the church was killing her!

12 comments:

  1. ROTFWL!!!!Leave the blog!!!And plead "the freedom of bloggers ammendment" when your friend discovers the page!!!!

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  2. lmaooooo *dead*
    hahah love the blog. check mine out.

    http://miss-lb.blogspot.com/
    x

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  3. OMG!!! This is so funny...do not let her read this..

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  4. lmao....dead...what? lol....i no get that kind liver o

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  5. @neefemi: Exactly o!!!My amazement was not so much with the incidence, but the insanity of the fact that there was a 3rd party not more than 5steps away! Which kind of liver did they chop!!!Girl on guy is somewhat...well understandable, but him scooping her out to "return the favour" right in the presence of the "man of God"!!! lmaooooo *dead* The narration was hilarious!!!

    Oh, i missed out the part where she whispered a complaint to him: "the other twin is crying for attention o"! Go figure.
    lmaooooo *dead*

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  6. @Harry-Rami Itie: lol!!!If she comes close, the blog will disappear.

    @L.B: Loving your page girl. More info more info!!!

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  7. Dammmmmmmmmmmm Didn't you write something about having a clean mind at mine...

    Ok, so you gots soooooo hot writing this story that even you has forgotten who is T and who is...lmao..

    Pretty hawt story though, reminds me of an ex!!

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  8. yeah right i am sure nothing happened because they are children of GOD....

    thanks for stopping by

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  9. i can totally relate with d guys in d 'true'-life story!

    thr ve bn numerous times i ve had to skip church activities bcs i had done some very bad things(no guessing pls!).

    This post brings a lot of things to fore.How do xtians really cope without ... during courtship(definitely an inspiration for a new post).Church people practically feel it's so easy but it's just damn 2 difficult.GOD & d Holy Spirit help us all!

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  10. @Afrobabe: Now whiiiich one of the Ex's exactly?!Do tell Do tell!
    As4 how clean minds go,ehmmm...IT'S ALL UR FAULT!!!(Throwing the blame on someone else+Heading to church for another round of confessions!)Nahhh,been good!

    @misspumping: Let all the children of God in the house say aye! AYEEEEEEEE!!!!All you bad bloggers!Me Holy!
    Cap that with a shiny angel ring!*Wink*

    @Musco: That's a true topic o!(Wicked grin)Sounds like someone's been struggling!But rily, yeah,drop a note on that and lets discus!Maybe we can instigate a blogger altar call!!!

    *T.Notes, u need help!*

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  11. lmao!!!
    man thats hilarious, id NEVER have the guts to do that! Ever!
    thats crazy, the pastor didnt turn around once, maybe he knew not to...lol

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  12. Hi gigi!!!Nobody's spsed to have the guts to do that!!lol.The story is he didn't.Maybe they shoulda been caught tho!

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