From my part-time work:
(1st thing in the morning)
Our records indicate that you did not attend your confirmed shift at Tesco High Street on xxxth August and did not inform us of this. You now have a 'No Show' on your file. Please reply within 24 hours advising of any extenuating circumstances or errors on our part or you will be issued with a Feedback Report and further action will be taken.
My Prompt reply:
Abeg, go and hug transformer jare!!!
No dey vex me today, i am not in a good mood! Ehnn, somebody no fit sleep forget come work again?! Abeg, go and die jare!!
My real reply:
Thanks for your email......blah blah blah.....
By God's grace,i should start my proper LondonBigBoy Job next month and all these ass-kissing for a GCSE Certificate holder will reduce. But seriously,i'm vexed!!!