Sunday, August 28, 2011

What's the best way to kiss a wild girl? (And Life Interrupted thoughts)

So,what do you think?

What's the surest way to initiate a kiss with a wild girl?
My usual inclinations are to lean within close yet safe proximity and ask the rhetoric question: "What would you do if i kissed you right now?". It's been a sure bet because most times the lady gives no response,which in my POV is as good as a "yes" or a "curious go ahead". The other sure fire means is to still lean close, abandon the safe proximity,risk a hot slap, give a naughty grin and ask her to close her eyes. Well,maybe none of these have earned me a hard slap yet because in all instances,both parties have either been unabashedly naughty,drunk, love (#sigh on that last silly bit).

So I had a dawning today in Tz’s apartment whilst we tried to come up with a last days splurging diary/agenda b4 we both go our separate ways. She’s off to Paris, and me in the other direction.#shrug#. As usual, we argued, amidst bared fangs and naughty winks, but that wasn’t any concern, until we got to the issue of “McDonalds Burger” and she listed a thousand reasons why the $8burger from Mailbox is definitely better and Mcdonalds is crap. But i love mcdonalds! Besides, i like my burger cheap, because hey,its only burger! And that was when it struck me that, fish sticks girls, seriously are a bad idea for a life partner!

And a cheeky voice asked within me, “so really, who is a good choice for a life partner?”. I replied ruefully, “As if i know.”. And that’s the main concern...i used to know. I used to think i know the kind of person i want to spend my life with. I had a very good idea until my family and cultural society pretty much f$ckd all that up. You may refer to this post. I used to think i want to be with a woman who’s smart, funny, gentle, refined, enlightened, not too wild, and if she had all that, then i wasn’t particular about what she looked like or what anybody thought. So i found that sort of person once upon a time and all the priests in the backward village of Nigeria “saw into the future” and insisted that there would be dire danger in the path of our union. Like really,who still believes all these garbage?! So after fighting everybody concerned with that ridiculous saga, i packed my baggage, said “f%^k you very much for ruining my life”, then i relocated to the U.S.

Ofcourse in the U.S, i couldn’t give a f^&K anymore, so i found better company with every drinking and partying skirt up my alley. Fish stick girls are great company for parties, road trips and every misadventure in between, and the best part is, the days with them are too wild to permit your mind time to think about the real woes of your life. But now the days are calming down and i’m drawing up a wonder list and questioning, really, what do i want in a woman anyways?

Type A:
She’s your best friend.
You’re both fanatical about movies and often spend evenings under the duvet enjoying a good movie or exploring a new album.
Her looks are simple. She's a little less (ahem) endowed but you love her smile. (I cannot for the life of me understand why i am suddenly so concerned about a woman’s physical endowment as a part prerequisite.)
She’s spiritual and wants you to pray with her every night.
She likes to cut your nails and play with your hair.

Type B:

The first thing you notice about her is her curvy hips.
The second thing you notice about her is her perky boobs.
You love how you both argue about everything, with an underlying knowing that you both love the flirtatious arguments.
When you’re not arguing, you’re partying...come to think about it,i can’t quite remember any quiet moment with Tz. Last time we tried watching T.v, she slept off.
She’s not overtly spiritual, but she goes to church.
She loves life.

Or is there really no big deal to choosing a life partner, because in truth, with time and space, we really can fall in love with anybody, so just choose anybody right?

P.S: I honestly do appreciate the emails explaining that time heals all wounds,but i respectfully disagree and maintain that, "when life interrupts our paths,its only natural that we change,manage to carry on with life as time permits, but we never forget or heal. All that cliche talk,honestly lets not deceive ourselves. How many life wounds have you truly forgotten about, have they not made you who you today?But what do i know uh? #shrugs#

See why i think its better to just talk about kissing.

And wonder the best way to initiate a kiss with a wild girl....


  1. i vote for the Spiderman kiss. i am yet to be kissed upside down. That must be something.

    ok back to serious matters... 'Every good and perfect gift is from Above' and 'Ask and ye shall receive'. That sums it up.

    E go better whether you accept it or not!

  2. You used to stay in the US?? why did u leave :( ..we woulda been buddies :p

  3. I laughed when I came down here and saw Kiah's comment. I still remember the spiderman kiss #tummytingling lol...nice kisses up there, i gotta find someone to kiss now.

    As for heart matter, sometimes it's better not to overthink stuff.

  4. But I still recall the famous (and wise) words of DeBarge "...the heart is not so smart, can't always trust it....goes where it should not go...." #justsaying.
    Methinks the important thing is finding the balance between the heart and the head in that decision cos one's weakness is the other's strength.
    AS for Kisses, I'm stuck between the spiderman upside down kiss{uhmmm} and the Kiss between Will and Eva in Hitch(the morning after....){eye-popping, bell-ringing, violin playing, choir crying.....}
    Abeg T-Notes make dem no come sack me for work onto kissing matter.

  5. I have to agree with you on the time heals all wounds "nonsense". there are certain things that never go away. that's just the way it is.

    best way to kiss? "in the next 30 seconds. I'm going to kiss you" out of the blue and slightly authoritative. I LIKE!!lol

  6. OOOOOH WOW INSOMNIA!!!That's the BEST i've heard ever!!!!

  7. Best way to kiss? I loved the spiderman upside down kiss, just like you are defying gravity. I also loved the Johnny Depp kiss and the twilight kiss.... oh my.
    Who is a good choice of partner? A blend in your type A and B would be fantastic. Someone who is down to earth, who knows what fun is and also make your blood boil. Just like Kiah said "all good things come from above". Don't think about it too much and you just might find it in the unlikeliest places.
    Sometimes when it comes to issues of marriage, family and friends think they know it all, they have seen it all so can dole out advice. They might be right sometimes but if we are pushed to agree with them without full conviction, we live with the "what if" for the rest of our lives. Sorry i dont think that made may sense

  8. @Kiah:Hullos!!Well,this spiderman kiss business. Isn't anybody consdiering the sort of bloodrush headache the guy would be getting at the same time?!!lol!And well,when you put it in that God perspective..i guess.

    @kitkat:U.S,U.K,Ukraine,heyy,we're still buddies!Mwuah!

    @Myne:You owe me a response via Okeoghene's blog!Dunno,some of us have a knack of overthinking b4 making some choices.And i hope you've found ur kisses Myne!Lol!

    @Mimi: Very solid point you make there. But whyyyy can't we just have it all?!Though,the underlying dilemma of knowing we can't always have it all was what prompted my own thoughts in the 1st place. Which did you/would you go for yourself..heart or head or a compromising balance.The danger about a compromise is that it leaves room in the future for meandering thoughts...if you get what i mean. The place wherein we knowingly compromised becomes our weakness tomorrow.P.S: Hope nobody noticed the fluster at the office with all this kissing thoughts/talk.Haha. Appricate your opinion. xoxo

  9. @Neefemi: Wellll,everything's still under control.Based on what you know about everything,its the stress that's making me act up/act out. But i'm really good. Thanx. We'll catch up when we see online/skype. Hope you good urself?

  10. @Okgh:Hmmm,i like the idea of defying gravity..or better still acting in defiance...

    It might indeed make sense not to think too much about it. But you know i've always said, what women do not know or refuse to acknowledge is that the choice of a life partner is a more dueling task for a man than a woman.Its the man that makes 1(one) choice out of a gazillion,and owns the responsibility of being certain that he dang well knows for certain that he is picking the right someone. Albeit trivializing the woman's place,really,all she's gotta do is say "yes" or "no". In my opinion,that's why its worth fully thinking about the choice,even for all the headache involved...if all that makes any sense at all. *wink*

    The perfect gift comes from above yes,but sometimes something from above doesn't come in a perfect package,making it not so obvious to decipher if its from God or not.

    And lastly, "hey might be right sometimes but if we are pushed to agree with them without full conviction, we live with the "what if" for the rest of our lives." made perfect sense dear.

    Thanx for thought out opinion.

  11. Just rummage my mouth jare and like Miss Insomnia said, do it with some authority..girl in bondage(hides face).

    Is it cliche again, to say 'when you meet your new Ms Right, you will know?

  12. Depends on what kiss you are going for:the for sex only kiss or the spinning head kiss.

    I would say:Stare at her lips then her eyes then back to her lips.Make sure she wants it,if she does, she would probably be staring at your lips *that is if you have zelsky lips oh!* don't give in just yet,wait till her heart beat matches yours,then lean in closer till your lips are almost touching and you feel her warm breath on your face then kiss her,take it slow but firm,be the leader,act like YOU THE MAN!!!

    p.s i love that kiss me song, one of my fav.dint know people listen to my type of songs.hmmm