Wednesday, December 28, 2011

About a break-up and Two cups of 34C

I could not have asked for a better way to end the Christmas festivities, other than a tribute night of Frank Sinatra enjoyed over sparkling wine with a beautiful old time bestie, all overlooking London's night skyline. I have concluded that when i die, and my loved ones discover hidden in a steel vault- the link to this archive of useless blogged musing..when you read this post, take it as my dying request that Frank Sinatra's 'My Way' be played as my charmed remains are being returned to mother earth.

But back to the perfect winter's night with F. that formed this quick post. F is currently going through a break-up with a long time boyfriend, and we'd met up because she finally wanted to discuss the matter surrounding the breakup. So, just as the curtains closed on the song 'something stupid', she finally spoke.

We'd all heard about F. and T.'s breakup at the same time. She'd sent a broadcast message two weeks before christmas with the brief words: 'T. and I are no longer together. BB will be turned off for some time-I'll be fine'. Then she'd sent another message to five others asking if we could do France over the weekend with her-she needed support. Who could say no. There were no tears in France., neither where there much words, and nobody pressed for an explanation. Most of the time, she was nestled into someone's shoulders and just stared ahead into nothingness. When it was time to leave on sunday, she finally cried, and said that was the end of the matter. I can never understand where that girl gets her strength from. Her blackberry has been off since then so i was nicely surprised when she sent me a text message to come for the Sinatra event with her.

'He said he's not satisfied with my body-He's not sexually attracted to me.'

I was taken aback. They'd been together for seven years.

'He loves me, we're amazing together, i'm his best friend, and he knows he's going to regret his decision, but he said if he goes ahead, it'd mean him sacrificing his sexual needs, and he doesn't feel strong enough to do that. He said he's never cheated on me, but with a future together, he sees it as inevitable.'

She managed a weak smile.

'So, that was it. Seven years, we've been through the worst, enjoyed the best, and gave it all up because my breasts are not big enough and waist line not round enough. At least he was honest.'

I didn't say anything. Maybe because i am not a fan of giving cliche responses. Maybe because i hated to admitt that in an off-hand sort of way, i admired the guy's honesty (albeit utter foolishness) or maybe bacuse i was just short of words. Either ways my mouth said nothing, but my mind raced through alot as i penned this thoughts.

I remained quiet and allowed her settle into a left handed embrace. We asked for a refil of our glasses (maybe wishing it was that easy to also ask heaven for a small top-up to my hurting friend's cup size) and waited for the next song to begin.

P.S. F. is a really really awesome person. She's beautiful, funny, highly intelligent (i kid you not), and she's got the best smile. I reckon she wears a 32A...but T.V and porno reckons that good sex begins at 34C.

Love or Lust..i've ben asking people the question and everybody's so far insisted on having the two. So what happens if the two do not come in the same package? So response. It's a funny sort of vicious cycle...we have commercialised and promoted sexuality...and are alarmed at the subsequent rise in infidelity. Who is shooting and woman alike?

I am none a saint, because i have also wished for the two, and hesitated if i was asked to only pick one. Today....I know I'd pick a fine soul, a glossy body.


  1. Listening to this song always brings tears to my eyes, or could it be F's story? 7 years? One would think that T built his lust in such a long period of love and could see a way of further building. But oh you said, he was honest. Blame the romantic in me that believes that love builds lust, even if it doesn't trump it.

  2. T was honest but 7 years is a long time, to just be in a relationship that you knew won't go anywhere. I wish F all the best. There is still hope

  3. Bitter pill to swallow but she'll survive... but 7 years is long

  4. her boyfriend is an Agbaya-excuse my french!!! nonsense!!! of all the stupid reasons to leave someone!!! make him dey go front go find Miss 40GG!!! i hope she suffocates him with the boobs. Agbaya!!!

  5. I get it he was been honest but biko that is the dumbest excuse. shey he did not know the waist was not round or the boobs big before. Tar some men sha, 7years is sure too long to waste another person's life.

  6. @Kiah:Omg!!!lwkmf!!Suffocate hime with her boobs!You've got me imagining a female assassin literally trying to snuff out life thru 'boob suffocation'!!!lol!!Abeg,pls calm down o.Diff strokes for diff folks.

    @Myne:For love to build lust,never quite thought along that line...maybe because it sounds a lil too idealistic,but for what its worth,its a nice ideal to hope for.Best of 2012 Myne!Oh n Sinatra should bring joy not tears!

    @Joisays:Hallo stranger!!!!Hopping to yours in a min.Don't think we'v been acquainted yet???

    @Pet n Okg:Yeah true that.I wasn't thinking too much on the years,more on the seeming flimpsiness of d breakup.But yesss,7yrs aint child's play.


  7. In a way, i respect him for breaking up with her- he can't help the way he feels i suppose. You really have to have both for you to feel truly satisfied at home. But at the same time, did he have to wait 7 wasted years to tell her. Na wa for him sha

    Muse Origins FB

    P.S. Merry Christmas :D

  8. Ha. My own don finish be that. Her boyfriend of 7 YEARS LEFT HER because she had 32A boobs? Yepa. Na for me to go and jump off cliff be that now, abi no?

    My ex-boyfriend made lots of jokes and references about me getting breast implants or Amber Rose behind-implants when we were together. I always laughed them off and said I'd do it if he got 8-pack implants, but little did he know he touched a raw nerve. Infact, I'll just save those insecurities for a future blog post, but suffice it to say as a fellow member of the itty bitty titty club who is not planning on getting plastic surgery ever, I'll go out on a naive hopeless romantic limb here and say I'm praying my own love will conquer all. Hmmph.

    Regardless of him being brave and owning up to his real feelings, I still think he is WRONG for being with her for 7 years knowing all along he wasn't down like that. Not at all keen on wasting people's lives/time/emotions for any reason.

    Sorry for the mini-post, but in case you can't tell, this is a touchy subject for me. Lol

  9. Awwwwww....I totally get were he is coming from.They probably started out as friends,then best friends,then there was the sudden over expression of raw hormones physically and before he knew it,he was caught up in a relationship and tied down.He was probably drowning in guilt,saying to himself every year,''things would get better.32A wont matter anymore'' I guess it never felt good and like they say ''BETTER LATE THAN NEVER'' I wish them all the best and hope they remain friends after the hurt is over...

  10. #Gbam!'ve dissected the whole thing with your simple yet so insightful response! You are one hsarp cookie!!!Yes, that there was the full story in between the lines. And that was why i was unable to give any jugdements myself. The heart/feelings is a funny thing, who can explain em. My closing too was to wish them the best and also hope the hurts ends sometime soon. I like you, you're SHARP!

  11. @Miss Fab: Forgive me, but i just cannot still help lol'ing everytime i come across your mini epistle-even though it touches a raw nerve as u say!!!In truth, love does conquer such details. They are insignificant when it comes down to it. It only takes a sensible man to see through such silly issues. And when i think about it, i'm apt to say, it may be best to be heart broken by a man that cannot stick with a woman just because of the size of...There's still a whole life ahead where more serious calls for his loyalty/faithfulness will be demanded. So if you screen out with fickle ones now (b4 tomorrow comes), then you are better off for the momentary discomfort/pain. But hey, what do i know huh?!

    @Muse origins: Hmmmm, meaning you would also insist of having the two?!You will not compromise on one better than the other?

  12. Crazylife probably made a good analysis of it but hey seven years is too long for a bloke to be twiddling his thumb and wishing.

    But Like you have said, Tnotes, all the better he left now than 10 yrs on.

    My 32A best buddie got married to this hunk who lived her itty bit self to a fault. And following two pregnancies, she has gone 3 cup sizes larger. Yay for becoming even sexier. Your guy should gerrof joo. Kiah I love you!

  13. omg. this is .....sad. i dont even know what to say. how can he?? im sure she must be extremely hurt. A guy leaving me after 7 years just because i have small breasts or cause i'm not sexy enough.. that would certainly break my heart.

    All the same, i'm happy he ended it. it would have been worse of if they got married and he started cheating.

    i do hope she's better now. Another man who would appreciate her for all she is would still definitely come along.

    In the mean time, i wish her the best.

  14. Na wa o. This boob biz is serious. & 7years? Hope she finds some1 who isn't boob-crazy and is just as awesome as she deserves.

  15. It will be a lame excuse if your man prefers the other just because one has bigger boobs or smaller waist.